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Geek of the Week

What a Hoser

February 26/10
The dangling gas station hose was the giveaway. Police have busted a south bend, Indiana man for drunken driving. Other drivers called the cops to complain, after thier cars were hit by the gas hose dangling from the mans truck. St. Josheph county police say the 46 year old failed several sobriety tests after he was stopped. Police report his blood alcohol level was later tested well over the legal limit. Employees at the service station say the man bought gas with a credit card and drove off with the gas nozzle still attached.

Wrong Car

February 22/10
Drug dealers and their customers aren't know for their stunning intelligence -- but Burnaby RCMP say one man really proved he's one sandwich short of a picnic. They say the man tried to hop in the back of an unmarked police car early yesterday morning, then explained his mistake by saying he was waiting for a buddy in a "silver car". Seconds later, a silver vehicle pulled up and the man jumped in -- leaving officers little doubt that a drug deal was in the works. They simply followed the car and pulled it over -- seizing cash and cocaine and laying trafficking charges against the 25-year-old Surrey man at the wheel.

Too Dumb For Jail

January 22/10
Getting into jail is easy. Just break the law and get caught. Police say this guy just wanted to go to jail. Officers in Portland, Oregon, report a man walked into a Fedex Kinko’s store and handed an employee a note. The message read, “This is a robbery, I’ll wait outside for police, sorry”. Detective Mary Wheat says responding officers found the 46 year old man outside the store. But authorities won’t be filing robbery charges against the man because there was no weapon involved and nothing was taken. However, authorities say there’s still the issue of initiating a false report.

Calgon, Take Me Away

December 18/09
He may be a crook, but at least he isn't a dirty crook. Police in Tyler, Texas, say that they busted a man found taking a bath in a home that wasn't his. The arrest was made last weekend. Authorities say a man called to report someone had kicked in his front door. When police arrived, they found the stranger had stripped off his clothes and was taking a bath. Larry Ticey is in jail on a misdemeanor criminal trespass charge.

Not Avon

November 20/09
How this guy could have thought this was a good idea will never is known. An idiot decided to expand his dope dealing business by selling door to door. Things may have even been going well, until he knocked on a police officer's door. Authorities in Brownsville, Texas, charge Anthony Carrazco had three ounces of pot he was trying to sell door to door. According to a police spokesperson, the 19 year old finally knocked on the apartment door of an off duty police officer. The officer said he'd be right back, and went and got his badge and handcuffs, thus ending the enterprise. Authorities say Carrazco also had a gun on him. He's now being held on ten thousand dollars bail.

Can't Blame the Dog

November 6/09
The dog didn't eat this kid’s homework. The police have it, as evidence. Police in Rhode Island report two 15 year old boys skipped class one day this week and broke into a home near their high school. Police lieutenant Eugene Jalette says after stealing some video game systems, the boys grabbed their backpacks and headed back to school. But the homework of one of the boys apparently fell out of his school bag, near a broken basement window. The assignment had the kids name on it. The Police report arresting the boys at their school and recovering the stolen goods.

Mr. Jackass

October 23/09
A man is expected to face charges after he forced his way into a liquor store, grabbed booze from the shelf, drank it and then vomited all over the floor. The homeless man pushed his way past a hillside liquor store janitor who was leaving the shop at about 8am, Thursday. By the time police arrived a few minutes later, the man in his 20's had consumed a 13 ounce bottle of vodka, a 13 ounce bottle of scotch and a few bottles of cider. He told police his name was "Jackass" and "Mclovin'". Mr. Jackass is expected to face break and enter charges.

What’s wrong with pockets?

October 16/09
Police say they've nabbed a real pothead. They say an officer spotted 29 year old Cesar Lopez inside a convenience store with a bag of marijuana stuck to his forehead. Investigators say Lopez was seen peering inside his baseball cap in Lebanon, Pennsylvania, about 120 kilometres northwest of Philadelphia. When Lopez looked up, the officer noticed a small plastic bag appearing to contain marijuana stuck to his forehead. Police say the officer peeled the bag off Lopez’s forehead and placed him under arrest. He has been charged with drug possession. Authorities say the sweatband of a baseball cap is a frequent hiding place for drugs.

Just ... wtf?

October 9/09
Call it the case of the urinal scammer Police in Fredricksburg, Virginia are looking for a suspect in a plumbing con. Authorities say a man is damaging restaurant urinal, then posing as a plumber offering to fix them. A police spokesperson says the phony plumber hit at least seven restaurants in one afternoon alone. Police have now charged Timothy Banks of Fort Washington, Maryland with multiple counts, including felony vandalism. Police say he faces similar charges in other area counties.

Cops need help with botany

Sept 4/09
Dutch police thought they had a big pot bust, but it turns out to be a big embarrassment. Police proudly announced earlier this week that they'd found more than 47 thousand pot plants, with an estimated street value of nearly 6.5 million dollars us. After officers had half the field mowed down, they learned the plants were part of an officially sanctioned university research project. Scientists at Wageningen University say they were growing a new strain of hemp. The researchers say their hemp is related to the marijuana plant, but with only trace amounts of THC, the chemical that gives pot its high. The school says the hemp field was part of a project to develop a sustainable source of fibre.

That Otter Teach Him

August 28/09
It's got to be one of the strangest excuses for pulling out of an athletic competition ever! Sanford Schmid has been forced to withdraw from this weekend's Penticton Ironman Competition because he was bitten by an otter while training in a lake near his home in Invermere. Schmid says the otter came back again and again, biting him on the legs and arms. His wetsuit also took a beating in the attack. Schmid says the bites are just too swollen for him to join the triathlon.

Diaper Duty

August 21/09
A Florida woman was conned into changing diapers and caring for a man who claimed he was disabled. Janet Schulte says she met the man through Craigslist. She was hired by the man's supposed brother to bottle feed and change the diapers of an adult patient. Well, it turns out the alleged brother and the alleged disabled man was the same guy. Schulte says authorities have told her that, even though she was lied to, it doesn't look like a crime was committed. Schulte says she was paid 600 dollars a week for her services.

Or are you just happy to see me?

August 7/09
Police say two pet, baby snakes escaped from a 20 year old mans pockets as he was driving, leading to a car crash in Hartford, Connecticut. Police say Angel Rolon, of New Britain, lost control of his SUV when the snakes slithered near the gas and brake pedals and he and a passenger tried to catch them. Police say the SUV veered into some parked cars and overturned. Rolon was treated at the hospital for unknown injuries. Police say they gave him a summons for reckless driving and other charges. Police are unsure why the snakes were in Rolon's pockets or what kind of snakes they were. Animal control officers caught the snakes.

Hello?

July 10/09
Call it a case of the dead cells, both the telephones and the ones in the brain. Employees at a Telefonica Movistar cell phone store in Morelia, Mexico say they arrived at work to find that the store had been broken into. An examination of the shop revealed the only items missing were hollow replica phones for display that are completely useless for making calls. Employees say the clueless thieves overlooked real cell phones and cash in another part of the shop. Store owners nonetheless reported the theft to local police, who are investigating.

No smoke

July 3/09
This had to be the easiest fire to put out. But, imagine the panic of an elderly woman in Zurich, Switzerland who called emergency operators to say her TV was on fire. Firefighters rushed to the home but didn't see and flames or smoke. A closer look at the TV showed it was tuned to a station that shows a fire in a fireplace during the early morning hours. Firefighters put the fire out with the press of a button.

Bug "bomb"!

There's a reason they're called bug bombs apparently. Fire officials in suburban Sacramento, California, blame an apartment explosion on insect foggers. Authorities report a tenant set off 10 cans of roach spray. That’s five to ten times the recommended amount. Investigators suspect electricity from a refrigerator detonated the toxic cloud of bug spray. The blast was so powerful; some of the complex's load bearing walls was blown out. The entire building in Citrus Heights has been condemned, forcing three families to move.

Wrong souvenir

Stealing a "prisoner" t-shirt might not be the best souvenir to take away from your stay in jail. Authorities in Fresno, California say Israel Ramirez nearly caused a collision while riding his bike. The incident occurred shortly after Ramirez was released from the county jail. Deputies report they noticed Ramirez was wearing a jail t-shirt, with the word "prisoner" printed on the back. They allege he snuck it out of the lock up under his clothes. He was busted again, this time on felony charges of receiving stolen property.

Facebook Stupidity

The long arm of the law has reached all the way into the social networking site Facebook, and a woman in Kamloops has learned some comments are better left unsaid. The 23 year old wanted drug and alcohol conditions removed from a probation order imposed for an earlier offence and appeared in provincial court in Kamloops, hopeful her request would be granted. She wasn't expecting the crown to submit copies of her Facebook profile. One posting included the comment, "they better give me what I want, or all hell will break loose". Further postings said she was inviting friends to her house to smoke pot. The probation order remained unchanged.

Remember the song "The Little Old Lady From Pasadena"?

April 17th, 2009
Well now we have the speeding granny from Salem, Oregon. Authorities allege Sandra Nardi was doing 165 kilometers per hour with her 10 year old grandson in the car. Sheriff's lieutenant Sheila Lorance says a deputy clocked Nardi with a radar gun. The deputy says he's never seen anybody drive that fast on that particular road. Authorities say Nardi claimed to have been teaching her grandson about the dangers of speeding. She supposedly warned the boy never to drive the way she does. Nardi is now charged with reckless driving and reckless endangerment.

Kids Dial the Darndest Numbers

March 13th, 2009
A BC man is probably wishing he gave his 11 month old don something else to plays with. The infant apparently dialled 9-1-1 and brought the police to the home. Mounties say a 9-1-1 call came in from White Rock, BC, residence last week, but whoever was on the other end of the line hung up. Officers arrived at the home and Constable Janelle canning says the 29 year old man inside, startled by the sudden sight of police, and insisted he hadn't made the call. When it was suggested a child might have dialled, the father said his son was far too young. That’s when police spotted the baby playing with a cordless phone. Canning says the baby was pressing all the buttons, so evidently he was the one who called 9-1-1. Officers then began inspecting the home and soon discovered a 500 plant marijuana grow operation. The father will appear in court in early April on charges of production of a controlled substance and mischief.

Dumb Dad

March 6th, 2009
Not every parent is born with good parenting skills. A British judge has sentenced a motorcycling dad to six months in jail after he was caught doing 196 km/h with his 14 year old son clinging top his back. A police video shows Robert Bennett speeding down a road in southern England. Police clocked the motorcycle going more than double the posted speed limit of 97 km/h. It also showed images of Bennett’s son, who was not wearing proper protective gloves of pants. Lawyer David Sapiecha says Bennett was travelling that speed for less than a kilometre and that he was sorry. Judge Phillip Wassell calls the 47 year old mans actions unbelievable. We're fairly certain his nomination for father of the year has been withdrawn.

Wet dog smell

February 6th, 2009
We should all know that when a dog gets wet, it'll shake itself to get dry...vigorously! So if you don't want to get wet too stay away. A police officer in Kalama, Washington will remember that for the rest of his life after saving a wet dogs life. A stray chocolate lab had jumped into a tank at a sewage treatment plant and then found it difficult to swim in the foamy sewage mix. The police officer was able to reach into the tank. He grabbed the sinking dog by the ear, and then pulled him out by the scruff of the neck.
The officer thought he got off lucky because he only got one sleeve dirty. But, the soggy and very stinky pooch then did what dogs always do when they get wet; he gave himself a vigorous shake. The officer was sprayed from face to feet with sewage. Lesson learned. New uniform required.

Looking Down the Business End

January 23, 2009
Squirting a robber with pepper spray might not sound too unusual, unless the robber does it to himself! Police in Council Bluffs, Iowa, are looking for a guy who doesn't know which is the business end of the self-defence device. Officers say the bumbling bandit robbed a phone store by threatening the clerk with a gun. Police add the robber also pulled out a can of pepper spray and tried to use it on the store employee. But the man sprayed himself right in the face. He also managed to get the clerk with the spray and made a run for it. Police are still looking for the doubly red-faced robber.

Make sure it's a bank

January 16, 2009
If you're going to rob a bank, at least make sure you're actually in a bank. Police in Nicholasville, Kentucky, report a man with a gun tried to stick up what he thought was a bank. Sure the building once was a bank, but it's now the office of the local water utility. City police official Scott Harvey tells the Lexington Hearald-Leader the office doesn't have anything of value to steal. When an employee told the gunman there wasn't any money, he told them he knows they have money because it's a bank. When told it's no longer a bank the very confused looking crook left with nothing.

Testing the tester

December 12, 2008
A blood alcohol tester has been charged with....impaired driving! Authorities in Carson City, Nevada say Kathleen Cherry is accused of driving drunk on her way to test a suspect’s blood alcohol level. She's a contract worker for the sheriff's department. A Carson City deputy reported smelling alcohol on her breath. Officials say she told the deputy she had one margarita before driving she's accused of failing a field sobriety test and registering a blood alcohol content over the legal limit. She was booked on a misdemeanor drunken driving charge.

I'll never leave you baby

November 21, 2008
It's raining. You're lonely. Why not? That was how 41 year old Xian, from Hong Kong, found himself face down on a bench, and calling for help in the middle of the night. The lonely man had noticed that the steel sit up benches in Lantian Park had numerous ventilation holes, and thought it might be possible to use them for sexual gratification. Once Xian became aroused, he found he was stuck and could not remove himself from the hole in the bench. Quite understandably, he panicked. Police received a call from the disturbed man, and arrived to find poor Xian trapped face down on the bench. Doctors were called to the scene. They tried to extricate him, but emergency workers had to cut the entire bench free and take him to hospital. Four painful hours later, doctors finally separated Xian from his bench. It is possible that the lack of blood flow could have caused sufficient damage that doctors would have been forced to remove his Protuberance. A bad date that poor Xian will likely never forget.

Drunk Ice Making

October 31, 2008
A 34-year-old woman from Kingsville, Ont., has been charged with impaired driving - on a Zamboni. Provincial police say an off-duty officer spotted the woman driving erratically on the ice resurfacer at Kingsville Arena on Thursday night. The driver was missing major spots on the ice and bumping into the boards. At one point, police allege the woman stopped the Zamboni and slumped over the steering wheel. Police say they found a bottle of vodka on the woman, whose name was not released. She was arrested and charged with impaired operation of a motor vehicle and driving over the legal alcohol limit.

Wrong vehicle for the job

October 10, 2008
For two robbers in Malaysia, size certainly did matter. Two armed robbers in Malaysia hijacked a security van with 1.3 million dollars inside, but they were forced to abandon more than half the cash because their getaway car, which had been stolen, was too small. Police say the compact car couldn't handle all the money they intended to steal. The district police chief says the robbers and their little car were still at large with about 524-thousand dollars following the heist. He says the robbers stole a small car then held up guards in the security van at a shopping mall. The van has been recovered with nine bags containing just under 800-thousand still inside.

Nice Kitty

September 19, 2008
Sure a cat’s litter box is prone to being a bit smelly, but not like this. A Pennsylvania woman thought she was petting a neighbour’s cat. But the animal had a nasty surprise. It was a skunk and did what any upset skunk would do when being petted when it didn't want to be. After spraying the woman, police say the skunk ran into her Mount Carmel home. Officers were at the house for hours trying to get the skunk out of the house. The smell will linger for a while longer.

Tight spot

August 29, 2008
Michigan authorities say a shoplifting suspect has died after being crushed in a trash compactor where she was hiding. The Eaton County sheriff's department said two women fled a Lansing area TJ Maxx discount store after spraying a security guard with mace. A deputy found one woman behind a nearby trash compactor. Deputies say the woman wouldn't say where the other woman was hiding. Shortly afterward, authorities got a call about a woman trapped in the trash compactor. Tyree Monique Tate of Delta township was pulled from the machine by rescuers and taken to hospital, where the 26 year old later died. The surviving suspects name hasn't been released.

Designated pre-teen

August 15, 2008
A 35 year old Texas woman has been jailed after police say she made her daughter drive her to the bar. Police say they watched a minivan turn into a driveway without signaling and bump into a home at slow speed. They say the car was driven by the woman's 12 year old daughter. Police say the girl told an officer she had just dropped her mother off at a bar. They say they found the woman at the bar and that she admitted having her daughter driving her there.

Baby car surfing

August 08, 2008
A grandmother is in trouble with police for driving around a grocery store parking lot with her 3-year-old granddaughter on the roof of the car. Florida police arrived at the store and arrested 54-year-old Brenda Bouschet. She was released from jail 15 hours later. Bouschet says she would never let anything hurt her granddaughter and insists that she was driving at "snail speed" while holding the childs leg. Authorities say Bouschet told police she was "giving the child some air and letting her have fun." She faces charges of child abuse.

Judas Priest Geek

July 29, 2008
Riding a motorcycle in church doesn't sound like a very good idea … even if you're the minister. Senior pastor Jeff Harlow broke his wrist during a service Sunday at his crossroads community church in Kokomo, Indiana. He was trying to make a point to the congregation about how a successful rider has to be one with his motorcycle. But he accidentally drove his bike off the church's stage and into a vacant first row of seats. He had to have surgery to repair the broken wrist. His wife Becky tells the Kokomo tribune the pastor can laugh about it now. But she says his pride is probably a little bruised.

Geeks with badges

July 18, 2008
Police in Dallas, Texas, didn't have far to go to find $400,000 worth of cocaine...it was in an undercover car they'd been driving for two months. An officer cleaning the car at a patrol station discovered more than 20 kilos of cocaine carefully hidden in hydraulically controlled compartments. Dallas police put the two-door 2004 black Infiniti into police service back in may after seizing it during a drug raid along with a 1999 Honda that was later sold at auction. Deputy Chief Julian Bernal says the narcotics division searched both vehicles and found nothing unusual. Bernal says police plan to contact the person who bought the Honda to find out if drugs are hidden in that car too. They're also trying to find out who owned the cocaine they've been secretly driving around with.

Drive thru booze

July 04, 2008
Talk about your beer run! Police in Norwalk, California, report a woman ran her car through the front window of a convenience store, then tried to buy a six-pack of Budweiser. According to authorities, 74-year-old Lynne Rice plowed about halfway through the store in her '88 Cadillac. The store owner tells the long beach press-telegram he doesn't know how she even managed to walk. Rice was taken to hospital for a check-up and then arrested for investigation of impaired driving. By the way, the cashier refused to sell her the bud.

Naked....but not a thief

June 27, 2008
Sometimes, the prison jumpsuit is a better look. Police in Georgia say 49-year-old Bill Merit left the Chatham county jail and began walking along the road...naked. Witnesses called police, who arrested him again on a charge of public indecency. A police report says Merit told an officer that he didn't take the clothes jailers gave him because he thought they would be considered stolen property. The report says the man "appeared rational, except for being naked". Jail records show Merit had been booked two days earlier on charges of criminal trespass and disorderly conduct. Merit remains in jail awaiting arraignment.

Talking your way into custody

June 13, 2008
A would be robber's gift of the gab has proven to be a gift for law enforcement. A suspect is facing charges in Kelowna after driving a stolen pickup truck to a Kelowna area home and allegedly trying to break into a garage. This happened in full view of the homeowner, who called police and wandered over to the suspect and launched into a friendly conversation. Apparently the subject of the discussion was interesting enough to keep him talking until police arrived. The guy is now in custody. No word on how chatty he has been since being incarcerated.

Moon over my "pressed" hammie

June 06, 2008
A young Dutch man is the butt of his own joke, after trying to moon a restaurant. Police report the 21 year old man pressed his bare rear end against a restaurant window, only to have it shatter around his back side. The young man lacerated his buttocks and was treated at a nearby hospital. According to authorities, the injured prankster was one of three running down a street with their pants down. The trio has agreed to pay for the broken window. The cafe owner has decided not to press charges.

Snack attack

May 23, 2008
A college student whose friend was being questioned in a hit and run found himself charged with assaulting an officer with a curious choice of weapon....M&M's. Sean McGuire was arrested last week at a convenience store after Drake University security guards noticed colored candies falling on the ground around the officer. When the officer turned around, an M&M hit his shoulder, according to a police report. McGuire claims he threw the candy because he was "sticking up for his friend", who apparently was the man suspected in the accident the report states. McGuire, of Glenview, Illinois, was release from jail after posting $1,000 bail.

Bail boob

May 09, 2008
Police say it was no surprise a bogus $50 bill got a Long Island man arrested...he was trying to use it to pay his bail on a traffic charge. The transaction compounded Cyheam Forney's legal problems and landed him in jail. Police say they spotted the 31-year-old Forney making an illegal left turn in Melville NY and discovered his license had been suspended. Forney was arrested on a misdemeanor suspended license charge, until officers say he proffered the counterfeit currency as bail money. He's now being held on a felony charge of possessing forged currency.